Recently..

Ha..I bet by now you're getting more and more tired of me writing about my scarcity in writing. So I guess I'll just skip that part now.

As for the reason why I found my interest in writing back, well..it's because I came across a blog of a school mate and I must say, I'm impressed with her English. So yeah, to compensate with my fall-backs in terms of improvement, I HAVE TO write more.

Speaking of writing, I just remembered about the piles of outlines and ideas of stories that are still in form of .txt files waiting for me to finish. :/ I'm planning to continue each of them soon, as I have far more free-time and pressure than I used to have.

Yep, that's true. I'm kicked out from my previous class. To say I'm not sad is a total bullshit, but life goes on. I want to experience the new environment and, possibly, to gain new friends. As far as I know, being able to accept an alien atmosphere is one of the many aspects in growing up. So I take all these changes as a challenge and training.

Frankly, those words are supposed to be written a month or so ago. =_=

Tomorrow, (or to be exact, this morning, it's some time past 12 already) I'm going to have a remedial test. My first remedial test ever, with math as the subject. I just hope I won't flunk it the way I flunk my monthly math exam.

Wish me luck? Y / N
*insert a smile here*
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Blog skins
At first I wanted a clean and simple look with not so much of details for my blog, so I used the newest kind of template. However, after changing my blog's template to the .xml ones for a few weeks, I finally decided that the old kind of template suits me better, and well, like what it's seen, I reverted it to what it used to be. I like editing and altering the look of my blog until it reaches my taste. Coding isn't that bad when you know how to do it.

In spite of my interest in an original template of blog, I still find myself too lazy to actually make a skin. :/
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Random thoughts

See, I have this bad attribute in myself: I have no trust in my ability.
Almost zero trust.
I shrink whenever I saw someone better than me, and needless to say, my confidence also vapors into thin air whenever someone criticizes something that I think I'm almost good at. People always succeed to make me reconsider and wonder about what I have along with my capabilities.

I really hate it.

One of my teachers had told me as well, that I really don't realize my competence, and I can't stand firm with my own thoughts; I'm easily influenced by people (another drawback of myself), he had said.

Man, I know it's a BAD idea to post about my insecurity here, but whatever. I'm just writing just so the future me will be able to come over my (soon-to-be) past misconception.
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Recent craze

Lately, I'm infatuated with a Taiwanese contestant in a singing contest called 超級偶像, or 超偶 for short (in English it's called Super Idol). His voice is just..beautiful. I melt along with his smooth voice..in my opinion. Besides, he strongly reminded me of somebody (any guesses anyone? ;p ). And, oh! He plays guitar too! Really good at that too.

Anyway, his name is 吳海文, or Kevin Wu (as he had said that his friends called him Kevin, and his surname is 吳). He studied in MI, America.

Here's an original song composed by him.



the Lyric

《情歌日誌》 曲/詞: 吳海文

又一次走到人多的地方
想讓熱鬧掩蓋昨夜的不安
買一杯咖啡卻忘了放糖
喝下愛情的苦澀要怎麼遺忘

不要被你看穿，我想你的模樣
畢竟你已經是別人的另一半
只好找個藉口，讓我好好偽裝
偽裝沒有你也沒甚麼兩樣

夜深了，人寂寞了，寫著日記想著誰呢
心酸著，照片裡的，我們笑得那麼羞澀
該忘的，都該忘了，也沒甚麼好記得
只是我該如何釋放，每個夜晚心裡多出的重量

也許愛情都是這樣，昨日的溫暖淪為今日的難堪

my Rough Translation

Once more walking to a place with many people
Wanna let the crowd conceal yesterday night's uneasiness
Bought a cup of coffee but forgot to add sugar
Drank up the bitterness of love, how can I forget?

Don't wanna let you see through，my face when I think of you
After all you had become someone else's half (here it means someone else's lover)
I could only find an excuse，to let me pretend well
Pretending that there are no difference [in me] without you

The night is deep, people are lonely, who is in mind while writing diary?
Grieving heart, we smiled shyly in the photograph
What should be forgotten，had been forgotten，there's nothing good to be remembered either
It's only how I have to let go, every night the weight in my heart increase

Maybe love is just like this, the warmth yesterday had become today's embarrassment

I ♥ Him!

uh..hi?

It's been ages since I last posted.
Really.
It made this blog seems like an orphan too.

And it seems like I've grown rusty in writing too. ugh. :/

Anyway, it's holiday; summer.
I'm definitely wasting it away like some stupid shit I am.

ARGH.

(So I changed the blog layout again.)

NEW!!

So, at last, I finally came up with some spirit to post something.
Seems like forever since my last writing, true?

School is usual. Nothing big.
Exam's drawing closer. Hell for me.
Material's so many. I am lazy.

Yea

--
Life goes on and we're getting older each passing second. As time passed by, I can't help but wonder about the future. So many things to be considered; so many things to be figured out; so many confusing things. Growing up makes me see things in a different point of view. I just don't wanna grow up.
We're going to enter our senior year in about 3 months time. 3 very short months.
(And yet, I didn't think I've done anything of importance this year, which is a major let-down.)

Now, even though it's not the right time, thinking about graduation made my heart thumped really fast. It reminds me when I first moved to the new class; the feeling I felt towards my dearest friends, definitely not the best kind of feeling ever. I hate the sad nagging feeling in my chest.

But thinking about growing up is causing even more palpitation from my heart.
The freedom, responsibility, novelty, and all other things that are waiting for me to uncover obviously cause strange sensations towards my emotions; excitement, fear, impatience, denial, confusion and a whole lot of other emotions are stirring and churning inside demanding to break free.

But one thing is for sure,
Life is not a field of daisies.
We might be on top of the world today, but we might fall the next.
We've got upside and downside, right?

'Face the truth, solve the problem and enjoy the ride'
that I kept telling myself.

--
How does it feel when you lost a friend?
No. That's a rhetorical question. Please answer nothing.

I think I just did. (lost a friend, duh.)
Or maybe, it's all in my mind.

It's not something recent, really; it could be considered as an old story perhaps.
I've grown quite close with this person for quite a while, we talked about so many things, almost everything indeed. Never had a day passed without us chatting around, even when we're so far away on holiday, we still managed to contact each other and vented out our journey of the day.

And yet, we still fell out of it just for a reason:
A girl.

I don't know why, but I think it's the reason.

Flashing back, it might be my fault as well.
I don't really like this girl's presence, so I decided to ignore him, and he did too.
So, that's how.

EWWWW I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE SOMETHING CHEESY LIKE THIS!! ARGHARGHAGRHAGRHAGHGHGHGH
IGNORE PLZ