A post a day keeps the idiocy away.

Today was quite interesting.
Mom asked me and sis to go to the (somekind of) temple.
She had told us that she hoped people there would teach us things she couldn't teach. (Positive stuffs, of course.)

To be honest, I was kinda lazy at first. But really, after going there, surprisingly, I quite enjoy it.
The people there are very energetic and warm. :)
--

This week, apparently the topic was about parents and their virtue.
There was some kind of oontempolation. They asked us to close our eyes to, well, think about what they were going to say. And, they read about an article (that I have ever read about).
Here's the article (in Indonesian, from my inbox):

I LOVE U MOM !

Waktu kamu berumur 1 tahun , dia menyuapi dan memandikanmu ... sebagai balasannya ..... kau menangis sepanjang malam.

Waktu kamu berumur 2 tahun , dia mengajarimu bagaimana cara berjalan. sebagai balasannya ... kamu kabur waktu dia memanggilmu.

Waktu kamu berumur 3 tahun, dia memasak semua makananmu dengan kasih sayang .. sebagai balasannya ... kamu buang piring berisi makananmu ke lantai.

Waktu kamu berumur 4 tahun, dia memberimu pensil warna ... sebagai balasannya .. kamu corat coret tembok rumah dan meja makan.

Waktu kamu berumur 5 tahun, dia membelikanmu baju-baju mahal dan indah..sebagai balasannya ... kamu memakainya bermain di kubangan lumpur.

Waktu berumur 6 tahun, dia mengantarmu pergi ke sekolah ... sebagai balasannya ... kamu berteriak 'NGGAK MAU ...!'

Waktu berumur 7 tahun, dia membelikanmu bola ... sebagai balasannya, kamu melemparkan bola ke jendela tetangga

Waktu berumur 8 tahun, dia memberimu es krim ... sebagai balasannya.. .kamu tumpahkan dan mengotori seluruh bajumu

Waktu kamu berumur 9 tahun , dia membayar mahal untuk kursus-kursusmu ..sebagai balasannya ... kamu sering bolos dan sama sekali nggak mau belajar



Waktu kamu berumur 10 tahun, dia mengantarmu kemana saja, dari kolam renang sampai pesta ulang tahun .. sebagai balasannya ..... kamu melompat keluar mobil tanpa memberi salam

Waktu kamu berumur 11 tahun, dia mengantar kamu dan temen-temen kamu kebioskop .. sebagai balasannya ... kamu minta dia duduk di barisan lain
Waktu kamu berumur 12 tahun, dia melarangmu melihat acara tv khusus untuk orang dewasa ... sebagai balasannya ... kamu tunggu sampai dia keluar rumah

Waktu kamu berumur 13 tahun, dia menyarankanmu untuk memotong rambut karena sudah waktunya .sebagai balasannya.. kamu bilang dia tidak tahu mode
Waktu kamu berumur 14 tahun, dia membayar biaya untuk kemahmu selama liburan .. sebagai balasannya ... kamu nggak pernah menelponnya.

Waktu kamu berumur 15 tahun, pulang kerja dia ingin memelukmu ..... sebagai balasannya ... kamu kunci pintu kamarmu

Waktu kamu berumur 16 tahun, dia mengajari kamu mengemudi mobil .....sebagai balasannya ... kamu pakai mobilnya setiap ada kesempatan tanpa mempedulikan kepentingannya

Waktu kamu berumur 17 tahun, dia sedang menunggu telpon yang penting .. sebagai balasannya ... kamu pakai telpon nonstop semalaman,

Waktu kamu berumur 18 tahun, dia menangis terharu ketika kamu lulus SMA.. sebagai balasannya ... kamu berpesta dengan teman-temanmu sampai pagi


Waktu kamu berumur 19 tahun, dia membayar semua kuliahmu dan mengantarmu ke kampus pada hari pertama ... sebagai balasannya ... kamu minta diturunkan jauh dari pintu gerbang biar nggak malu sama temen-temen.

Waktu kamu berumur 20 tahun, dia bertanya 'Darimana saja seharian ini?'.. sebagai balasannya .... kamu menjawab 'Ah, cerewet amat sih, pengen tahu urusan orang.'


Waktu kamu berumur 21 tahun, dia menyarankanmu satu pekerjaan bagus untuk karier masa depanmu ... sebagai balasannya ... kamu bilang 'Aku nggak mau seperti kamu.'

Waktu kamu berumur 22 tahun, dia memelukmu dan haru waktu kamu lulus perguruan tinggi .. sebagai balasanmu ... kamu nanya kapan kamu bisa main ke luar negeri

Waktu kamu berumur 23 tahun, dia membelikanmu 1 set furniture untuk rumah barumu ... sebagai balasannya ... kamu ceritain ke temanmu betapa jeleknya furniture itu

Waktu kamu berumur 24 tahun, dia bertemu dengan tunanganmu dan bertanya tentang rencana di masa depan ... sebagai balasannya .. kamu mengeluh 'Aduh gimana sih kok bertanya seperti itu.'

Waktu kamu berumur 25 tahun, dia membantumu membiayai pernikahanmu ..... sebagai balasannya ... kamu pindah ke kota lain yang jaraknya lebih dari 500 km.

Waktu kamu berumur 30 tahun, dia memberimu nasehat bagaimana merawat bayimu ... sebagai balasannya ... kamu katakan 'Sekarang jamannya sudah beda.'

Waktu kamu berumur 40 tahun , dia menelponmu untuk memberitahu pesta salah satu saudara dekatmu .. sebagai balasannya kamu jawab 'Aku sibuk sekali, nggak ada waktu.'


Waktu kamu berumur 50 tahun, dia sakit-sakitan sehingga memerlukan perawatanmu ... sebagai balasannya ... kamu baca tentang pengaruh negatif orang tua yang numpang tinggal di rumah anaknya

dan hingga SUATU HARI, dia meninggal dengan tenang ... dan tiba-tiba kamu teringat semua yang belum pernah kamu lakukan, ... dan itu menghantam HATIMU bagaikan pukulan godam

MAKA ........................
JIKA ORANGTUAMU MASIH ADA .............
BERIKANLAH KASIH SAYANG DAN PERHATIAN LEBIH DARI YANG PERNAH KAMU BERIKAN SELAMA INI
JIKA ORANG TUAMU SUDAH TIADA ...........
INGATLAH KASIH SAYANG DAN CINTANYA YANG TELAH DIBERIKANNYA DENGAN TULUS TANPA SYARAT KEPADAMU


I LOVE U MOTHER
--

It was pretty moving, but then again, it was something else that made my heart wrenched.
Suddenly, the song Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift came up in my mind.
LOL, I'm gonna post the lyrics.

Taylor Swift - Never Grow Up
Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in and turn on your favorite nightlight

To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you
Wont let no one break your heart
No one will desert you
Just try to never grow up
Never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mama's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out
Someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up

It could stay this simple
No one's ever burned
Nothing's ever left you scarred
Even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what is sounded like what your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up
Oh I don't wanna grow up
Wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up
It could still be simple

Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heat
And even throuhg toyu want to, please try to never grow up
Don't you ever grow up
Just never grow up

The song is really nice with the soft relaxing guitar accompanying the melody.
I just love it! :D

LOL
Look, I almost forgot about my promise to post each day.
Senile much?

--
Anyways, our class held a sort of mini photographing session at school today. But it doesn't mean that there were tons of photos, just a few simple yet crowded and fun photos.
I still could replay the scene pretty well...not that it's special or what, since it's barely 24 hours passed since then.
LOL, I sounded stupid.
--

About the yearbook..
The most progress I made is actually today (surprising?), where I practically jammed a few pieces of pictures with a bit tweaks here and there.

Needless to say, I sidetracked a lot the whole time.

Heck yeah, I'm THAT productive.
Anyhow, I don't think I can actually make it in time by this Monday.
*sigh*
--

Speaking of sidetracking, I just realized that I love sidetracking a lot.
Like, for example, while say I was playing a game with several choices, and despite of knowing the right answer, I still will choose the wrong ones just to see the reaction.

...
Come to think of it, I guess many people do that too, don't they? <.<;
--

Actually, I don't really like the idea of writing the thing I was going to write.
So I decided not to write about it.
There you have it.

HAHA.

I'm going to leave school pretty soon, while more procrastination was performed at the process.
Really, I didn't change that much since the moment I step on the teenage..I guess.

Perhaps it's time for me to grow up and well, be more mature.
However, just like many others, the me inside doesn't really want to do so..

I'm a human, therefore, I'm an insatiate kind of being.
Yeah, sue me.
--

My writing skill has seriously deteriorated. I can't even write an appropriate paragraph to save my life. Tons of things jumbled up in my mind; so many words piled up waiting for an outbreak, yet I couldn't arrange them in order for people to easily comprehend it.
You know, sometimes, in the middle of writing (or thinking), there are some kind of voices whispering sentences for me. Most of the time they are related to the matter I'm writing (or thinking) about, but yet again, it's hard for me to find a fitting space for these words to line in.
For example, I heard, "One thing leads to another" just now while writing the paragraph above.

However, the sad thing is: after writing and editing for so damn long, I still feel that this piece of thing is not decent enough to be presented.
Said reason made me scrap most stuffs I write.

I know, writing is a challenge, and also a kind of art. And I've always admired people with great writing skill. Having this skill, in my own words and definition, means being capable of mesmerizing people with the depiction of the things around and dragging people into the world the author had so magically arranged.

Yes, I could hear, see, smell, and feel just by reading a book. It's like you yourself entered the world of the book and had your own adventure in a totally different universe.

Words are wonderfully powerful.

I'm a bookworm.
Sue me.

So, I suppose it's enough of the self-pity, and I decide that I'll post on the blog (hopefully) everyday for my brain to catch up.

--
Speaking of brain catching up, I found myself lately being not able to speak my mind out. It's like, those awkward moments when you meet your crush. However in my case, there's no crush present, just ordinary people. I'm not nervous, just...can't say it out.

It's going to be a problem for me.
Great.
--

Though my hands are somewhat full with all those projects scattered around for me to pick (putting aside some of those which were shoved on me), I still find myself pretty much bored.
I just stared at these projects with droopy eyes. And also, I am a (self-proclaimed) professional procrastinator. Therefore, my progress is really damn slow.

I'm ashamed of myself. Seriously.

--

I suppose I could use a new year resolution thingy or two and prayed for a better self. Hopefully.

Recently..

Ha..I bet by now you're getting more and more tired of me writing about my scarcity in writing. So I guess I'll just skip that part now.

As for the reason why I found my interest in writing back, well..it's because I came across a blog of a school mate and I must say, I'm impressed with her English. So yeah, to compensate with my fall-backs in terms of improvement, I HAVE TO write more.

Speaking of writing, I just remembered about the piles of outlines and ideas of stories that are still in form of .txt files waiting for me to finish. :/ I'm planning to continue each of them soon, as I have far more free-time and pressure than I used to have.

Yep, that's true. I'm kicked out from my previous class. To say I'm not sad is a total bullshit, but life goes on. I want to experience the new environment and, possibly, to gain new friends. As far as I know, being able to accept an alien atmosphere is one of the many aspects in growing up. So I take all these changes as a challenge and training.

Frankly, those words are supposed to be written a month or so ago. =_=

Tomorrow, (or to be exact, this morning, it's some time past 12 already) I'm going to have a remedial test. My first remedial test ever, with math as the subject. I just hope I won't flunk it the way I flunk my monthly math exam.

Wish me luck? Y / N
*insert a smile here*
--

Blog skins
At first I wanted a clean and simple look with not so much of details for my blog, so I used the newest kind of template. However, after changing my blog's template to the .xml ones for a few weeks, I finally decided that the old kind of template suits me better, and well, like what it's seen, I reverted it to what it used to be. I like editing and altering the look of my blog until it reaches my taste. Coding isn't that bad when you know how to do it.

In spite of my interest in an original template of blog, I still find myself too lazy to actually make a skin. :/
--

Random thoughts

See, I have this bad attribute in myself: I have no trust in my ability.
Almost zero trust.
I shrink whenever I saw someone better than me, and needless to say, my confidence also vapors into thin air whenever someone criticizes something that I think I'm almost good at. People always succeed to make me reconsider and wonder about what I have along with my capabilities.

I really hate it.

One of my teachers had told me as well, that I really don't realize my competence, and I can't stand firm with my own thoughts; I'm easily influenced by people (another drawback of myself), he had said.

Man, I know it's a BAD idea to post about my insecurity here, but whatever. I'm just writing just so the future me will be able to come over my (soon-to-be) past misconception.
--

Recent craze

Lately, I'm infatuated with a Taiwanese contestant in a singing contest called 超級偶像, or 超偶 for short (in English it's called Super Idol). His voice is just..beautiful. I melt along with his smooth voice..in my opinion. Besides, he strongly reminded me of somebody (any guesses anyone? ;p ). And, oh! He plays guitar too! Really good at that too.

Anyway, his name is 吳海文, or Kevin Wu (as he had said that his friends called him Kevin, and his surname is 吳). He studied in MI, America.

Here's an original song composed by him.



the Lyric

《情歌日誌》 曲/詞: 吳海文

又一次走到人多的地方
想讓熱鬧掩蓋昨夜的不安
買一杯咖啡卻忘了放糖
喝下愛情的苦澀要怎麼遺忘

不要被你看穿，我想你的模樣
畢竟你已經是別人的另一半
只好找個藉口，讓我好好偽裝
偽裝沒有你也沒甚麼兩樣

夜深了，人寂寞了，寫著日記想著誰呢
心酸著，照片裡的，我們笑得那麼羞澀
該忘的，都該忘了，也沒甚麼好記得
只是我該如何釋放，每個夜晚心裡多出的重量

也許愛情都是這樣，昨日的溫暖淪為今日的難堪

my Rough Translation

Once more walking to a place with many people
Wanna let the crowd conceal yesterday night's uneasiness
Bought a cup of coffee but forgot to add sugar
Drank up the bitterness of love, how can I forget?

Don't wanna let you see through，my face when I think of you
After all you had become someone else's half (here it means someone else's lover)
I could only find an excuse，to let me pretend well
Pretending that there are no difference [in me] without you

The night is deep, people are lonely, who is in mind while writing diary?
Grieving heart, we smiled shyly in the photograph
What should be forgotten，had been forgotten，there's nothing good to be remembered either
It's only how I have to let go, every night the weight in my heart increase

Maybe love is just like this, the warmth yesterday had become today's embarrassment

I ♥ Him!

uh..hi?

It's been ages since I last posted.
Really.
It made this blog seems like an orphan too.

And it seems like I've grown rusty in writing too. ugh. :/

Anyway, it's holiday; summer.
I'm definitely wasting it away like some stupid shit I am.

ARGH.

(So I changed the blog layout again.)

NEW!!

So, at last, I finally came up with some spirit to post something.
Seems like forever since my last writing, true?

School is usual. Nothing big.
Exam's drawing closer. Hell for me.
Material's so many. I am lazy.

Yea

--
Life goes on and we're getting older each passing second. As time passed by, I can't help but wonder about the future. So many things to be considered; so many things to be figured out; so many confusing things. Growing up makes me see things in a different point of view. I just don't wanna grow up.
We're going to enter our senior year in about 3 months time. 3 very short months.
(And yet, I didn't think I've done anything of importance this year, which is a major let-down.)

Now, even though it's not the right time, thinking about graduation made my heart thumped really fast. It reminds me when I first moved to the new class; the feeling I felt towards my dearest friends, definitely not the best kind of feeling ever. I hate the sad nagging feeling in my chest.

But thinking about growing up is causing even more palpitation from my heart.
The freedom, responsibility, novelty, and all other things that are waiting for me to uncover obviously cause strange sensations towards my emotions; excitement, fear, impatience, denial, confusion and a whole lot of other emotions are stirring and churning inside demanding to break free.

But one thing is for sure,
Life is not a field of daisies.
We might be on top of the world today, but we might fall the next.
We've got upside and downside, right?

'Face the truth, solve the problem and enjoy the ride'
that I kept telling myself.

--
How does it feel when you lost a friend?
No. That's a rhetorical question. Please answer nothing.

I think I just did. (lost a friend, duh.)
Or maybe, it's all in my mind.

It's not something recent, really; it could be considered as an old story perhaps.
I've grown quite close with this person for quite a while, we talked about so many things, almost everything indeed. Never had a day passed without us chatting around, even when we're so far away on holiday, we still managed to contact each other and vented out our journey of the day.

And yet, we still fell out of it just for a reason:
A girl.

I don't know why, but I think it's the reason.

Flashing back, it might be my fault as well.
I don't really like this girl's presence, so I decided to ignore him, and he did too.
So, that's how.

EWWWW I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE SOMETHING CHEESY LIKE THIS!! ARGHARGHAGRHAGRHAGHGHGHGH
IGNORE PLZ

Loud voices

Loud sounds, voices, or any form of that highly annoyed me..a lot.

I'm currently in my mother's room, and I much prefer my own room (it provides my daily serenity and tranquility needs). Besides, it's damn hot here!(too huge a room, not enough air-conditioner to cool)

Why on earth did I end up being in here?
Well, my father is currently off the city, for business purpose I suppose, and my mother didn't enjoy being companion-less. So, there's it.

Oh, the title.
You see, mother is talking with her brother (who had some kind of conflicts with his boss and is now living in the different city with us) in the phone and boy, her voice is thundering, loud as hell (thankfully, the room is quite sound-proof), and damn, my ears are practically begging for me to do some cover up.
Ugh.


At least she stopped calling now.
However, she didn't quite stop talking.
Dang.

Right now she's watching some (in my opinion) stupid Korean drama while in front of her is the TV displaying another cheesy soap-opera that continues for, like, forever (I think the grandchildren of the first main characters had already had children).
Ugh.
What a waste of electricity.

Another thing I couldn't stand is: She just couldn't stop yapping!
She practically criticized me from head to toes!
She couldn't stop asking me to go to the saloon or beautician or things like that.
Damn..enough said..I guess.

I think I might as well stop now, seeing this is the third time she asked me what I was doing with my phone.