Monday, May 16, 2011

Graduated

Yes, I have officially graduated.

To be completely honest, I feel blank right now.
It's just...blah. As if it's not that interesting or anything.

Well, considering the passing percentage of the national exams of my school is 100%.

Yeah, I'm really not that excited.
I wish we had those fancy hats and cloak-thingies that the western people have on.., seems more interesting to be photographed and remembered.
--

I attended Science-01's (a.k.a Musketeers) Farewell Party yesterday night.
It was quite awesome.

Awards were given to students and teachers alike.
Some awards were kinda normal and some were not, obviously.
I won nothing apparently. Surprise!!!not.

A letter written by our Chinese-language teacher was shown, yet again.
I was kinda surprise to find myself crying (a bit) again, because, you know, I had read the letter before.

And said teacher cried too. Aww.
--

Honestly, I don't think that my already-flat life could get flatter anymore.
All I've been doing these days are just watching DVDs, drawing a bit (which I feel that I really sucked in that recently), browsing, and perhaps occasional gaming.

I'm bored.

And one more thing, I...really gotta say that I'm not feeling the...feeling to write some IELTS-y paragraphs.
--

So, Despicable Me, here we go.

A super-villain named Gru, feels his prestige is slowly deterring because of a recent felony by another super-villain, Vector, who just stole the Great Pyramid of Giza.

With the help of his fellow accomplice, Dr. Nefario, who apparently is an old fellow with bad hearing, Gru came up with a much more brilliant plan: He's going to steal the moon.
Ever since he was a child, he has always dreamed about going to the moon, however, this intention was always scoffed upon by his mother.

Determined with his plan, Gru visits the 'Villain-Bank' to loan some money as doing said project is rather expensive. However, the Bank's president, Mr. Perkins, even after Gru's presentation of his plan, isn't quite impressed. Thus, he refuses to loan Gru money before Gru could attain the most important part of Gru's plan: the Shrink Ray.

Stealing the Shrink Ray from the East Asian lab is pretty much a breeze for Gru.
However, stealing the Shrink Ray from Gru is a breeze as well for Vector.

Gru tries to break in Vector's headquarters and fails miserably. Then, Gru sees the three orphaned girls (Margo, Edith and Agnes) who have been selling cookies around the neighborhood pass Vector's security easily.

For the sake of his plans, Gru decides to adopt the girls from the orphanage using a false identity as a dentist. The girls, having been treated poorly at the orphanage, are more than happy to leave (although they're not quite thrilled by the fact that it is Gru who has adopted them).

Due to his unhappy childhood and lack of love for child whatsoever, Gru doesn't know how to take care of children and he simply couldn't care less, therefore leaving the girls at the hands of his yellow short minions.

With the help of the girls and the cookies robots, Gru finally succeeds in stealing the Shrink Ray. On their way home, however, the children beg for a day at the recently opened theme park. Gru, seeing this as a way to be free of the children, agrees.

Gru initially decides to leave the girls on a roller-coaster ride, however, he's then forced to ride along with them because they need an adult to accompany them.
Next, the girls decide to challenge one of the aiming game where the owner obviously cheats, as even though Agnes manages to hit the target, it won't fall at all. Pissed by the owner, Gru burns down the stand altogether. From then on, he starts to bond with the girls.

With the Shrink Ray in his possession, Gru confronts the Bank's president and presents his plans, again.
However, Mr. Perkins is, again, unimpressed with him. He says that he loves his whole plan and everything except for Gru himself.

Mr. Perkins believes that Gru is too old and incapable to do as well as the other younger, fresher villains. Then ends their video chat abruptly. Shortly after that, Mr. Perkins calls for his son, Vector, and asks as to why Gru succeeds to have the Shrink Ray, then he demands Vector to sabotage, or to be exact, to steal Gru's plan.

Desperate with the lack of fund, Gru decides to terminate the whole project and dismiss his thousands of minions in the process. Then the girls step up, offering their piggy bank, followed by his thousands of minions, digging in their pockets for a spare of money to help their boss. Moved by this gesture, Gru determines to continue his plan by using everything to build a rocket.

Little did he know, the Shrink Ray has a side effect in which the larger the mass of the subject shrunk, the faster it turns back into its original size.

Finally the rocket is finished. However, the day when the moon is on its best position from the earth is coincidentally the same day as the girls' ballet recital.

Seeing that Gru isn't totally focused on the project because of the girls' distraction, Dr. Nefario decides to give the girls back to the orphanage. Gru doesn't do anything to prevent this from happening.

Gru then successfully shrinks and brings back the moon. Thinking that he has enough time to make it to the girls' recital, Gru rushes to their school. Alas, he's too late. Then, he notices a note left by Vector, mentioning the girls are held as hostages. In order to get the girls back, Gru has to trade his moon for them.

But Vector defies their trade by taking both the moon and the girls with him. Dr. Nefario, on the other hand, starts to realize the side-effect of Shrink Ray and rushes to notify Gru. He makes it in time to aid Gru gaining the girls back.

Gru, having realized that the moon is going to expand back to its original size, teams up with Dr. Nefario and launches Vector's ship just as Margo, being the last of the girls being rescued, jumps to Gru's ship.

Thus, the moon is back to its place with an additional Vector on it.

Shortly later, Gru adopts the girls back. He writes a bed-time story for the girls based on his experience in place of the old bed-time story (which he considers as the worst literature created ever).

At the end of the movie, the girls dance their ballet and everyone else dances on the dance floor afterwards.
--

Least to say, I like this movie. :)
I know, crappy summary/writing/whatever.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

100511

So yeah, about my absence yesterday..I'll just be honest. I was distracted. Perhaps far more than I like to be.

As I truly didn't do any of my planned routines at all. Like, at all.

It's because I just bought these whole load of DVDs , and yeah, I'm spending my sweet, sweet time sitting in front of the TV for almost all day.

Man, I feel ashamed.

But well, I've watched Despicable Me, Thor, and a few episodes of America's Next Top Model - Cycle 15.

I probably will write tid-bits of my thoughts on those movies later.

Because, (here comes another lame excuse, argh) I have assignments, which felt like mountains to me, since, again, I failed to do yesterday because of the so-called distraction.

And these assignments are due tomorrow, while I have yet to get even half of them done.

I know, lame, right? (Me, I mean)

If anyone's wondering, I'm doing them for the class I've been taking for a week now: Accounting.

--

Anyhow, the whole point of me deciding to post today is that I think I've had this almost scary experience.

You see, I was asked by mother to store some money to the bank, which thankfully is near my house. Then, I, who was kinda aggravated then, just slammed the door and practically jumped in the car with my hair all wet and messy. The weather is burning hot lately, that's why I have no interest in going out whatsoever.

When I arrived there, I saw these many cars/motorcycles parked in front of it. So, I was like, 'Oh poop, you gotta be kidding me.' So yeah, I walked in, and I think I glared at the security just now (feeling bad, right now). Then, I saw the queue and sighed a relief, inwardly. I just had to wait for a couple of dudes.

I'm almost sure I could hear those people's thoughts, which were something like, 'What the hell is wrong with this girl? Just got washed up from the drain?'

No, I'm not smelly, nor am I dirty. It's just my messy wet hair, and maybe my sulky face. So I tried to make myself more presentable by combing my hair with my fingers.

After standing in the line for a few minutes, a huge guy entered and queued behind me. He's not exactly bulky, but he has a big tummy. I'm not sure what his face looked like, because I was way too sullen at that time to actually look around. But I scarcely recalled his face being quite..friendly-looking.

So this huge guy borrowed the pen from the guy standing in front of me, writing on a somekind of cheque or something. And well, nothing weird happened there.

But suddenly, a tangy scent made its way to my nose. I don't know why but I automatically held my breath. Perhaps maybe because I'm sort of terrified of all those stories about hypnotised by a stranger (and not in a good way, may I add) and what not.

Anyhow, I got all so defensive suddenly. Haha. Yeah I know, I'm quite paranoid, but it's better be safe than risk to the unknowns, right?

[Btw, it's 11:16 PM now, thanks to the blackout. And it's kinda hot here, it feels like summer is coming, though it's technically impossible, since we only have dry and wet season here. Though both these guys don't come according to the schedule anymore..)

So, I'd been holding my breath for as long as I could while at the same thinking, 'Please, please, people, be damn faster.' Honestly, I was a little bit terrified there, I even imagined what would happen if I were ever to faint or something. (Now that I'm thinking much more logically, perhaps the bank workers there would most probably help me or something, and of course, wouldn't let me be dragged away by that huge guy.., would they?)

And not long after that, it was my turn, I could feel myself sighing in relief. Then I heard the teller asked me, "How may I help you, miss?"

"Store." Short reply, I know.

"Is this your bank account?"

"Uh, no, i-it's my..mum's actually."

"Your mother's it is then? May I see your ID card?"

"Uh, I don't have it." As in, really don't have it. Yes, it's been 4 months since my 17th birthday. Believe me, his 'I-don't-freaking-believe-it' face is really tempting to be punched.

"Oh, right. Please wait a sec." After his tippity tappy toe with his co-workers, he came back and said, "Miss, if you don't have your ID, please ask someone with an ID to do it for you next time."

Thankfully, I was feeling indifferent at that time. So I just shrugged and let him continue his work.

While waiting for his awfully slow work, I started to realize that I felt a bit dizzy, like I was standing on a not balanced piece of wood on a river. My hands even shook a bit. Firstly I thought it was due to the heat, but after a few seconds of considering, it was scrapped as I was hardly spending my day under the sun. Then my paranoid side went to the act again. So I told myself to stay on focus, and nothing would happen.

In the end, I was thinking for the whole time. Hence, it led me to squint and nod unconsciously at the teller when he asked trivial matters about the whole 'storing' thingy.

--
Anyway I'm glad that nothing happened.
P.S. This whole post was written from my phone.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

070511

I had a cute dream yesterday. :)

Onto today's exercise!
--
Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world is starving.

* Discuss the arguments for and against keeping pets.
* To what extent do you agree?


In today's world, pets have been quite popular amongst the society ranging from the youth to the elders. There are many different reasons for people to keep pets, with the most common reason would be the need of a company. While some people, especially the elders, keep pets as a guidance and a guardian. Trained dogs could guide blind people and guard the doors. But some people pour too much time and money for the sole sake of maintaining their pets' needs. Hundreds of dollars are spent on pets' saloon and/or their food. While the riches could afford of said luxury, has it ever crossed their mind that instead of spending all those money on their pets they could perhaps donate some to the poorer people out there?

Pets could be useful at times. For when you need a friend and there seems like no one is there for you, its presence could prove to be not worthless. Basically, people just need to fulfill their primary needs, like food, love, and shelter. It's not like your pets demand you to drive them to the pets' saloon if they have never been there before. However, untrained pets are quite a bother, for they could run around your house and thrash everything in their way. So keep pets on

In my opinion, comparing keeping pets and paying attention to the starving people in the world is rather far-fetched. Because it's not like the officials totally abandon humanity helps and go for the pets. Besides, helping people is solely based on our own consciences.
--
Word count: 261
Time used: 25 minutes

Improvement? I guess so...

Friday, May 6, 2011

050611

Life has been pretty good to me lately, vice versa.
But I realize it's been pretty boring to just sit around all day for a few months, so I decide to take some classes just for the sake of somewhat a mock routine. That needs to be done in order to keep my sanity.

Anyhow, prom was like almost two weeks ago and I think it's not as memorable as I wished it would have been, hence I didn't write about it.

My cousin is getting married in a week, I guess.
The invitation card of hers is green and white striped, with silhouettes of a bride and a groom at the front.
Why am I writing about this?
I absolutely have no idea at all.

Never mind about that.
--

My IELTS test is in two weeks and I have done nothing as preparation for it.
Quite daring, as I would say.
But the idea of failing isn't appealing to me, at all. Therefore, I decide some practices and studying will do me good.
And I'd like to brush up my writing skill here.
--

Here's a random topic I picked up from my old book:
Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them.

* In what ways are computers a hindrance?
* What is your opinion?


Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.
You should write at least 250 words, in 40 minutes


Nowadays, computers are almost as common as microwaves, or perhaps more common in some cases. It's also commonly acknowledged that computers play a great role in making our lives easier. However, negative opinions also arose on the computerization mechanism in our life. How could such a useful machine be considered as a hindrance in our lives?

Like most things invented, computers are meant to ease our burdens, especially with all the programs designed to compliment the function of a computer. For example, writing and editing with a word processor are easier to be done; creating arts digitally is far easier than traditionally; arranging files and documents are also much simpler digitally, this function is particularly useful to those people who have so little time and so many things to do. Beside that, computers could also provide us with some sort of entertainment: we could read, listen to the music, watch movies, play games and connect with other people (with the help of the internet).

Although with all the good things offered by a computer, it still could be an obstacle. For example, some people lose the track of time when they're enjoying themselves on the entertainment stored in a computer, most notably on the games and internet section; some people also store all of their important files and documents on the computer without any backup, so when the computer is infected by a virus or any other lethal malfunctioning worms, said people could simply bid all their hard work a farewell.

In my opinion, to completely stop global usage of computers is an impossible deed, as it plays a really important role on our busy lives, but then again, relying too much on it isn't good either, as spending too much time sitting in front of the screen will also cause obesity. So, the idea is to balance the time we spend on and off the screen.
--
Word Count: 317 words
Time used: 60 minutes

I seriously need to practice more.
And I sorta feeling that my writing has some kind of 'on hold' feeling.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

"Fairy Tale"

Ahh. I have been tidying up my stuffs and sorting out the things that I no longer need for the whole day. It was kinda fun.

Then I came across these old magazines mother bought for me when I was a kid. Ending result: Nostalgic reading session.

After reading a few, I came across this old short story in one of the magazines, which I had fallen in love with since I first read it (which was like 8 years ago). So, right now, I'm thinking of sharing it.

The original story was in Indonesian. This would be my attempt to translate it in English.
--
"The tale of Fairy Tale"
by Ramayulis

In a veranda of a small house full of many kinds of statues and fretwork, sat an old man. His eyes were gazing softly at the distant. He was trying to seek out for the slightest signs of his wife's arrival. But the old lady who has just passed away never came back.

To ward away his loneliness, the old man decided to create a statue. Staring at the statue he almost finished, the old man muttered, "This statue is very beautiful. It's just like you, my dear."

He continued to sculpt while occasionally went to the kitchen to find out what his wife was cooking for him that day. But every time he peeked into the kitchen, he had to be disappointed, for he saw no single soul there.

Days passed and the statue was finished. But alas, the creation of the old man wasn't as perfect as his past works. The statue was indeed beautiful, but wielded a sad face even though the old man has specifically carved a smile on her face. Maybe his deep sorrow within his heart was reflected on his creation.

However, regardless of anything, he still loved the statue. He then named the statue as 'Fairy Tale'. For the tale of him and his wife would always rekindle in his heart. And the statue lived happily with her father.

One day, the old man died. He had to leave the world and finally met his wife. Before his death, the old man had entrusted the statue to one of his good friends at the town. But this good friend of his had the eyes only for the profit. "Hmph, I'd rather sell you than having to display your ugly face at my house." He said to the statue. Then he brought the statue to the market.

On her way to the market, Fairy Tale cried for the first time. And she didn't know then that it would be the begin of many other tears she would cry. She was treated badly and had to switch masters for so many times. Sometimes she would lament silently about why she was created with such a hideous complexion. But whenever she recalled about the old man, her father, her sorrow would vanish instantly.

Her constant flowing tears had left two long streaks on her face. Again and again until she had an even more hideous face. Now no one was willing to even look at her again.

Days and months passed. After her seemingly long journey, she finally arrived at a museum. She was placed at the end of the exhibition. The other fancy statues glanced arrogantly at her way.

The museum was very crowded that one morning because an auction for the statues was held that day. Fairy tale wasn't excluded from the auction and she was especially much more miserable that day because the people were busy praising other statues. Undeniably, this made the other statues mocked her more.

"You really have such an ugly face!" one of the statues had scoffed at her.

"Yeah! I can't bear staring at you even for another second." the Swan Statue exclaimed.

"Shh...shut up! That rich lady over there, she was looking at me." the Dancer Statue hissed at them. She then tried to look her best in order to fascinate the lady. And sure enough, the wealthy lady bought her.

Hours had passed and many of the statues were sold. Yet a certain man was still busy making his decision. He had been walking around observing since the morning. He kept looking and finally stopped right in front of Fairy Tale.

'Oh no! He is certainly going to insult me...' Fairy Tale thought.

"Uh huh...magnificent! Lovely, precise, how beautiful..."

Everyone in the room was shocked. Fairy Tale, herself was also confused.

"Yes. I want this one!" the man exclaimed vigorously.

"Are you serious, sire?" one of the auctioneers had asked. "He's right sir, that piece is surely hideous." A man beside him added.

"No! In no way could I be wrong. This is the most beautiful sculpture I have ever seen. Take a look at it! Her facial expression showed the sorrow in her heart. Her sad eyes and the long streaks on her face, they show the thousands of tears she had cried. How much hardship she has to endure for so long. But this smile... Look at how brave and rigid she has remained."

Everybody was now looking carefully at the statue.

"Yes. What this gentleman said is right. Look at how expressive this statue is. Oh...it must be that the artist had made this statue with all his heart."

No words could express the happiness Fairy Tale had felt.

"Hey, did you hear that? Do you think it's true?" the Statue of God of War whispered.
"I don't know, I couldn't believe this as well!" the Musician Statue beside him answered.

The whole room went silent for a while, as the occupants of which were all busy thinking respectively. There were those who regretted their oversight, and some asked inwardly as to why they couldn't appreciate such beauty of a statue.

"Here. I only have this sum of money. It is indeed not proportionate with the value of her. But I really wish to buy her." the man said whilst handing a suitcase to the auction committee.

They were dumbfounded when the committee opened the suitcase. Piles of money lied there, God knows how much it was. A man occupied himself by counting with his fingers, but nevertheless shook his head. No one could estimate the total because of its enormous amount.

Evening had arrived, and the museum was closing. Everybody went home with their own statues. Today they learned a valuable lesson.

The wise man, himself, went home in delight. He couldn't care less how much he had spent, he now owned such a beautiful piece of art after all.

Ah, if only the gentleman knew, how much Fairy Tale wanted to shout out her gratitude for him. She couldn't bear this feeling in her heart. Suddenly, the image of her father appeared on her mind, and she smiled.

Ah, if only Fairy Tale knew, that up there, faraway in the blue sky, in the midst of the white cloud, an old familiar fellow was smiling and shed a happy tear for her. Yeah...Fairy Tale never knew that all this time, the old man was always accompanying her journey. Every single tear she shed was also shed by her creator, her father.

"Goodbye, beautiful statue, wish you always be happy" the old man whispered. "Let's go, my love. Let's leave." He then held the hands of the old lady tightly, who had always been faithful to him and had always accompanied him everywhere. And then, they both fly high across the blue sky, far, faraway until they became a dot and disappeared.

--

Meh, I don't know about the other people, but I really love this story.. :)

Friday, April 22, 2011

School is over, but not moping.

All right.
The national examination for High School was officially over yesterday, with Physics as the last subject tested (for the Science class).

Now that the exams and school are over, I guess I should just start posting again.

Firstly, let me write about some things first.

Our class consists of students from many different classes, which had only been put in the same class on our very last year.

I would bet that most of these people perhaps didn't know if the others (the ones who weren't in their class, of course) exist at all before entering this class.

Therefore, in these short nine months (now that I think about it, it sounds pretty much like pregnancy), we could almost unite. Yeah, almost.

A lot of walls and barriers built up by each groups of friends couldn't simply be ignored. The difference in cultures also made it hard for us to be wholly as one. Not to mention the huge amount of people in one class: 48 people with 2 others gone to America for studies. (Even with that number, our class was still considered as one of the classes with the least students). And also, the fact that there was a period when some of my classmates just ditched for several weeks which led us to actually be used to their absence..

Maybe for the guys, it was pretty easy for them to socialize with their common interests such as sports, or perhaps pranks, unlike the girls. I don't know how to explain this fenomenon, it's like common knowledge.

However, there was this one thing that brought us together, which is: music.

When one of our native friends brought his guitar and strummed a familiar tune, we would sing along.

Those moments were the best moments ever. It made me feel like we were one big family. :)

And as for our form teacher, Mr. H. L. is like a beloved father for us all.
He teaches us maths, and is damn good at it. (FO' SURE!)
He's religious and is infamous for his oh-so-famed vampire jump punishment. (For those who are wondering, it's the Chinese vampire, not the sparkly ones.. Here's a link: Jiang Shi )
Me, I have experienced it once. Trust me, it's not the coolest thing in the world.
He's the type of person who does whatever he says he's going to do.
He loves making fun of some of our classmates, in a joking way of course, "to de-sleepy-fy us and to defrost the tension" he had said.
He is merciless, nevertheless.
Whenever we've done wrong, he'll punish us accordingly.. Except for the last two weeks' afternoon's session, which we, as a whole class, had ditched altogether.
However we were still punished for telling him a lie.

The reason I had used the word 'father' to describe him isn't simply because he's our form teacher..it is because I realized that no matter what we did wrong, he'd still forgive us.

Well, if you point out that most of our misbehavior were simply innocent mistakes, I will still stand by my words.

Anyway, I'd also like to apologize to our teacher for being such a disappointment in our last few weeks. In spite of that, he still forgave us. :)

Oh. The title, right.
Like what I've stated before, our class had just been put together for a short 9 months period. In addition, we came from five different classes. Unlike other classes, by most are from two or three different classes. Hence the impact of graduation is much less severe for us than for the other classes.

Meaning: we're taking it kinda well.
In fact, no single tear was shed during the last day of our class. Which is why, we're not moping like the rest of them. The most we did was taking pictures together (and maybe some busking around during the teacher's day :D) while the other classes gathered together and spoke from heart-to-heart, had a huge cry-fest, made some scenes and etc.

Speaking of which...where had I put our class photo, again?
--

I'm kinda scared actually. It seems like everyone has had their future planned to the details. While me? I'm just chilling out.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I know, I should be studying at the moment, with the ongoing exams and all but, I couldn't help this...this feeling I felt. This lump on my chest, I felt so uneasy that I could hardly concentrate on what I was doing or thinking or reading or anything.

I tried to find the reason behind this, but to no avail. (To those people who think that I should have been studying rather than consoling myself, just so you know, I'm more concerned with my psychological problems than I'm with my school grades. Sounds dramatic, but well, who cares?)

Anyhow, there had been a terrible natural disaster occurred today. Japan was hit by an earthquake with the strength of 8.9 Ritcher Scale, moreover, Tsunami decided to pay a visit to the said country too. I might not provide the most detailed information, you know there's Google you could always use.

During this incident, I was apparently taking my nap (it's normal, considering that I barely got any sleep the night before). And, coincidentally, I had a nightmare (sort of). Umm.. Though it had no connection whatsoever with the disaster, it's still a somekind of a nightmare.

I really wish I could help. Everybody does. (Or at least I thought so.)

However there were some heartless people who actually MAKE FUN of this misfortune. I mean, they wrote: "At least now Japan doesn't have to worry that Godzilla is about to come anytime soon." Or "Why didn't Doraemon do something?" Or "Did anyone help Pikachu?" Or "Well, it's what you call as karma."
Come on people.

So far, I read that there were about 60 people missing or died (I'm not so sure, forgive my lack of capability to concentrate at the moment).

I think I'm gonna cut this section short, as if I continue to write, I might just write the same thing again and again (I'm having a serious mind-blunting-ness)
Japan, please heal soon.

So, about my feelings/thoughts.
Like many other people in this world, I so definitely hate it when all of a sudden people start acting nice to you just because you're having an upper-hand of something tha they want. For example: popularity, money, help, or something else (I can't think of more examples)

And I felt like I'm being a hypocrite for writing this, as there are times when I DO suck up to some people for advantages.
I hate it. I wish I could change.

Aside of that, there's another thing that bugs the shit out of me too.
Apparently, as anti-social as I thought or claimed I was, I still feel lonely at times.
Like the feeling when you feel completely alone in a room full of people.
Or maybe, when you silently glance at the group of friends hanging out and laughing amongst themselves
Or perhaps, whenever the sudden urge to just chat with your bestfriend on the phone, but then realise that you have no one to call.
Or it could be the moments when you just want to text people just for the sake of it, then everyone is too busy with their own things.
Or when you have so much to say and no one to listen to.
Or when you reply to a group chat/thing and no one even comments about your words, or even if one replies, it's just out of pity and comes about 15 minutes later.

Everyday I try to show and act as if I had what I wanted and was content with my life just the way it is. Like I'm okay with what was happening.

Well people, I'm not.

--
Ranting really helps :)
Dear future self, have a better life than the current me.