NEW!!

So, at last, I finally came up with some spirit to post something.
Seems like forever since my last writing, true?

School is usual. Nothing big.
Exam's drawing closer. Hell for me.
Material's so many. I am lazy.

Yea

--
Life goes on and we're getting older each passing second. As time passed by, I can't help but wonder about the future. So many things to be considered; so many things to be figured out; so many confusing things. Growing up makes me see things in a different point of view. I just don't wanna grow up.
We're going to enter our senior year in about 3 months time. 3 very short months.
(And yet, I didn't think I've done anything of importance this year, which is a major let-down.)

Now, even though it's not the right time, thinking about graduation made my heart thumped really fast. It reminds me when I first moved to the new class; the feeling I felt towards my dearest friends, definitely not the best kind of feeling ever. I hate the sad nagging feeling in my chest.

But thinking about growing up is causing even more palpitation from my heart.
The freedom, responsibility, novelty, and all other things that are waiting for me to uncover obviously cause strange sensations towards my emotions; excitement, fear, impatience, denial, confusion and a whole lot of other emotions are stirring and churning inside demanding to break free.

But one thing is for sure,
Life is not a field of daisies.
We might be on top of the world today, but we might fall the next.
We've got upside and downside, right?

'Face the truth, solve the problem and enjoy the ride'
that I kept telling myself.

--
How does it feel when you lost a friend?
No. That's a rhetorical question. Please answer nothing.

I think I just did. (lost a friend, duh.)
Or maybe, it's all in my mind.

It's not something recent, really; it could be considered as an old story perhaps.
I've grown quite close with this person for quite a while, we talked about so many things, almost everything indeed. Never had a day passed without us chatting around, even when we're so far away on holiday, we still managed to contact each other and vented out our journey of the day.

And yet, we still fell out of it just for a reason:
A girl.

I don't know why, but I think it's the reason.

Flashing back, it might be my fault as well.
I don't really like this girl's presence, so I decided to ignore him, and he did too.
So, that's how.

EWWWW I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE SOMETHING CHEESY LIKE THIS!! ARGHARGHAGRHAGRHAGHGHGHGH
IGNORE PLZ

Loud voices

Loud sounds, voices, or any form of that highly annoyed me..a lot.

I'm currently in my mother's room, and I much prefer my own room (it provides my daily serenity and tranquility needs). Besides, it's damn hot here!(too huge a room, not enough air-conditioner to cool)

Why on earth did I end up being in here?
Well, my father is currently off the city, for business purpose I suppose, and my mother didn't enjoy being companion-less. So, there's it.

Oh, the title.
You see, mother is talking with her brother (who had some kind of conflicts with his boss and is now living in the different city with us) in the phone and boy, her voice is thundering, loud as hell (thankfully, the room is quite sound-proof), and damn, my ears are practically begging for me to do some cover up.
Ugh.


At least she stopped calling now.
However, she didn't quite stop talking.
Dang.

Right now she's watching some (in my opinion) stupid Korean drama while in front of her is the TV displaying another cheesy soap-opera that continues for, like, forever (I think the grandchildren of the first main characters had already had children).
Ugh.
What a waste of electricity.

Another thing I couldn't stand is: She just couldn't stop yapping!
She practically criticized me from head to toes!
She couldn't stop asking me to go to the saloon or beautician or things like that.
Damn..enough said..I guess.

I think I might as well stop now, seeing this is the third time she asked me what I was doing with my phone.

It's almost 11pm now.
And I'm still awake, full of energy at that, which is quite a problem for me (tomorrow's a Monday, sweetheart.)

I don't know when it started, but I find my energy level (or lack thereof) is very, very low during day times. I can barely stand one-hour-lesson without nodding off. Whilst during night times, I can survive without having to rest my eyes. (I'm serious. There's a time, when I couldn't sleep before the clock hit 5 am. Damn. I had to spend the whole night alone, no one was there to chat with me. And I thought boredom caused sleepiness?)

Yeah, I know it's not exactly that late yet, as it's not yet pass midnight, but still I'm a night person (not quite a good news really, as basically, I'm a student, which means my life proceeds on day times). Cheers.

I think that explains why I post now.
And I'm in desperate need of ranting now (to ignore my boredom or stuffs.)

I'm currently using my new laptop, a tablet PC to be exact, and I hate it.
It's not pressure sensitive (obviously pointless, as my purpose to buy this thing is for drawing); very expensive (I love money to the bits you know); the letters in the keyboard are very small (they are practically cramped) which have to be pressed really, really hard causing me to be a whole typo (fuck the letter 'i'); the network adapter is lousy (I swear I have to push the cable very very hard, to the point where my fingers hurt, to get this thing connected to internet); and the touch pad is really stupid (I practically slammed my fingers to get its response).
Ugh. What is this thing?
Specially designed for Barbarians laptop? (Hello? I have to use loads of energy just for typing!)

I much prefer my old lappy.
However, it's almost dead now; it's sick (viruses).
My bad.

Hmmph...

---

I'm 15 this year (and will get older next January), in the sophomore year of high school, yet I have no idea where I will go for university, let alone the major I'll be in.

I've been thinking about taking the design major, but I don't think myself is qualified enough.
My fear of lacking creativity leads me to confusion and seeing that the skill of designs needs somebody to employ makes me dither (working under somebody isn't exactly the best thing in the list if you see).
However, if I take this major, I can always work in the fashion department, opening a boutique to start off?
Well, it's only my dream.

Next in line would be Management.
This sounds quite intriguing, as I always dream of being a General Manager of a hotel, preferably five-star hotels.

Yes, I know I dream big.
And I'm working hard on it (or am I not?).

Whatever.

---


Wow. It's 12.21 AM now, and I felt no sleepiness yet.

Ugh.

I think I'll just have some browsing. (out of ideas on what to write)

Ciao.

This is just another typical Tuesday.

I'm in my study room adjacent to my parents' room the door of which is opening right now..*sigh* and there's some "sermon" going on in that very place with its sound not very quiet I tell you..

This time it's my brother's turn.

Apparently they're having a "talk" with my brother for having a girlfriend..whose Chinese zodiac is the same as my brother, snake.

You see,my mother and father are still pretty much Chinese-born, leading them into keeping the traditional culture, in which they believe people born under the sign snake in Chinese zodiacs aren't allowed to be together, as it's sai to bring bad luck or stuffs I don't quite understand.

This isn't the first time my brother's girlfriend being disapproved by my parents.

There's once, a girl, quite pretty, came into the picture.
Well, mother and father didn't disapprove much about the girl (dunno why), but my grandmother (father's) didn't like this girl very much (still dunno why).

They later broke up, not under any pressure of the families or things like that.
They agreed to go on separate ways as long distance relationship doesn't work well. (they thought so.)

Whatever. Doesn't really concern me though.

Haha
I decided to post something at last!
LOL

I won't say much about my absence though.
Long story short: Lost of interest + insufficient time (not like I was busy or what, just...distracted)

Okay, let's concern the present.
It is holiday (finally)!
I am soooo glad by this fact now. Ha-ha!

(Oh! Tomorrow is Joan's birthday, greet her if you wish to. :D)

Anyways, I'm really, really thrilled knowing I won't have to wake up at 6am in the mornings for 9 days straight! (I think I've pointed this out, haven't I? Whatever.)
However happy I am, I still have no idea whatsoever on how to spend my holiday...(actually got plans with family, but I'm not so excited with it or anything so yeah...)
My friends are (almost) all out of town these days and well...I think I'll just stay at home and rot...=.=

I better find good stuffs to do.

School life doesn't suck that much..ditched some lessons (pssh supposed to be secret <.<), worse thing is that I haven't got any of the subjects stuck in my mind yet (and the monthly exams is like, in 1 month. Great.).

Whatever.

I decided to change my blog's skin too (along with this comeback post. HA. comeback!)
Had been editing like crazy just now.
And right now is like 2.23 in the morning for screaming out loud.

I better catch up with some sleep now dammit.
Nity nite.

Soooo, yeah
I'm still alive, of course, in a healthy state indeed.
Too bad?
LOL.
Well, I admit, this blog was kinda deserted for quite long.
Why?
Why?
Why?
...Idunno?

Anyways, today was a birthday of a friend of mine.
And, we kinda bought a jacket for him.
Which was, like, wrapped in paper which was wrapped in paper which was wrapped in paper which was wrapped in paper which was wrapped in paper which was- whatever, the point is, he had quite a good time unwrapping it.
LOL.
Too bad I didn't take any pictures.

The test result?
La-La-La-La-La
What is test result?
Some kind of instant canned food which can be eaten without having it cooked? ("stole" this statement from a friend~ L.O.L!)

Ok, the test sucks and I hate exams!
Who doesn't?
And speaking of exams, one is about to come and show its ugly face to me.
Ugh.
And it was the final exam for my junior year.
Double ugh.
I hate getting older.
Moreover, I hate to graduate, but that doesn't mean I don't wish to get promoted!
But, it's just that, I don't want to actually leave school.
There are so many wonderful (and bad) things at school!
Whatever, I just love (and hate) school.
LOL.

And..Oh!
Do you believe in 2012?
I dunno, it kinda scared the hell out of me.
here and here
...
and Part I(Indonesian) also Part II(Indonesian)
I can't comment

..

So, yeah, how long was it since I last posted?
Forever? I assume so too.

However, life is just life, nothing special happens.
And yeah, exam's near, yet I had prepared nothing for it.
I supposed, the torture of studying will soon arrive.

Haizzz

Boring

Sometimes, I wonder, am I too dramatic or anything (as in "lebaii" thing), for that I felt total suffer for not getting what I really wanted.
Just like a dandelion seed.
All I can do is just watching it floating around deciding where the wind take it.
I know it's not only me to want that thing, but I can't help but feel selfish. I want only me to own it.
And to my fortune, the thing is currently flying within my hand reach, yet I had no courage to touch it, let alone catch it.
Watching it floating near was bliss, but having it mine was more.
What I hate the most is that the fact which told me that the possibility where I could have lost that thing is quite big, as there was someone out there who was much braver than I was jumping as high as one could to catch it.
However, whispers told me that I should stay here with open hands waiting it to come at its own will.
I know, it was like, hopeless.
But I can still wish, can't I?